So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
