people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
