i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize