He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
