I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
