wat bout pragnant strippers??
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize