No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize