now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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