The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
