i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
