my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize