i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
