think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
