I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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