You just made me feel so damn special
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
