was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
