My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize