Sponge bath it is.
i think my mom watched the whole time
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize