So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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