Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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