did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
