it was like eating out sand paper
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We just shotgunned beers for America
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
