Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
