Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
