Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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