Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize