the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
