PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
