I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
