You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
