your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
