I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
