There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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