worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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