Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
