Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
