you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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