my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
