from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
