I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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