all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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