I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
