You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
