is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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