Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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