i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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