after a month anything with tits is on the radar
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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