I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
