If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
