i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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