Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
