it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize