Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I had to cum in my sink.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
