Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Your cock deserves a montage
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
