i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
