She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
