Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
