And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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