so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
