He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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