i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
