Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
