yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
