When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
