Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
