Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
