u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
