Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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