It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
