DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
