I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
