WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
