Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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