my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
