Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
