Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
