found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize