I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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