the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
