I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
