i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
