You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
