Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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