Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
